What happened? Right now I am frustrated, eager, happy, tired, inspired, restless, and in all sorts ALL at the same time. With so much going on, I need to get on the ball. I say that all the time, but I plan to get this all settled so I can enjoy this season. I really need a breather. I really need a break. But I am not sure if I can get it through because the thought of being able to be a step closer to all that needs to be done. EXHALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Her Father's Daughter

My daughter is so cute! This is her on her little potty playing the ds. So her father's daughter.

Really gotta get on the ball!!!

So much is going on lately. So much will be going on for a while. Where to start?

I SOOO have been slacking on church. I really am disappointed because I have plans made for the next two weeks. And it has been a whole month since I have gone. I really am super bummed. I need to get back in check with a good schedule. And going to church is so important. It means so much to me that I feel horrible for not going. I need to get my daughter baptized. It is a must.
Okay. Bills! I need to get on the ball with all of my bills. I feel so horrible that Chris has bad credit. I really don't like that those stupid medical bills will be on his credit for 7 years...so LAME! But when I think about it, it could be worse. But I am not excusing the lack of financial responsibility, just not gonna let it ruin my life like the people make it seem. Get on the ball, pay them off, SAVE money. I am excited that Chris has gotten on point with me as far as saving. We know that we can do it! So, hopefully by 2008, we will have money saved up and his debt paid off. I am gonna get on track as far as paying off my credit cards. I am excited to become more resourceful with what we have. I have always thought that was a good standard to live by, but in this sense we see a goal just in reach. It's so ecouraging.
Okay today is October 23, 2007... it's the holiday season kick off. Lots of gifts to make. Lots of deadlines in all areas. First off, there is a lot of things I want done for Christmas by Thanksgiving. For example, Christmas is too late for scarves and beanies as gifts. It will have been cold for some time by then. So, in my mind having those items delivered by Thanksgiving will be nice. Got lots to do. BIG family. I'm looking at about thirty beanies. I tell myself that one a day will give me time. But, it sounds like a lot because it is. But really only six or so will NEED to be done by Thanksgiving. Make that twelve!
In addition, I AM OFFICIALLY PLANNING MY WEDDING. I am looking forward to all of my personal touches. I officially start getting my hands dirty in a week. My maid of honor, Kae Kae, will be with me at my side getting started. I plan to start mock ups of the centerpieces, favors (there will be three), and invitations. In addition, I will purchase the pattern for my dress and get starter fabric to try it out. I will also take a look at the costs of the lace for the bridal party shawls. I am so excited. And hopefully by then I will have my other bank account opened and start saving.
I want to make every minute of this season and wedding planning count with out stressing myself out. To me, planning is everything. I feel that if I make sure to use my designated time each day for this madness VERY wisely, that things will run smoothly. I am not looking for perfection, but on my wedding day and I want to feel confident that I couldn't have done things differently and that I alotted myself time to get it done.
I do realize that there is a job, home, husband, family, friends, me, and Bella to attain to as far as me being stretched out is concerned. All the planning that I need should by no means interfere with the life I live already..
Without further ado, let's get to work...

WTF? It really has been a whole month since my last one. Things have been good. New job... it's going well, at least I think. Committed diet... six pounds lighter. Happy family. Good friends. Support from Chris. Things are good. I am grateful for a lot of things. Financially times are hard and very trying, but I'm committed and Chris is there right alongside me. It makes all the difference in the world to me.

On a completely different note, lately I have been thinking about Chris and I getting married. I hadn't even thought about planning seriously because of this whole health insurance thing. But then I decided to be an adult and get my own damn insurance, get off my mom's that I have been cushioned with and get my own. Hence, I can get married and not worry about insurance. I am very eager and anxious to get this thing going. I am very excited to announce the official planning. I can't wait to be Mrs. Olson. Can't wait to pick out my wedding song and dress and register. Very excited......

School?

Not to be cocky, but all of my life I have always been told how smart I was and how I could do anything. As the social aspect of school started flirting with the academics my attendance and grades were truly affected. My grades have never had an issue as far as the curriculum of the course, just my attendance and all around effort. I almost didn't graduate, but not because of the hardships of school, but because of not doing what was required to be signed out. There I was, a senior with a surplus of fifty credits and almost not graduating.
I have always believed that it wasn't necessary to be "smart" but dedicated. I still believe it. With that said, I have decided to go back to school. I had always thought about putting Bella into private school, but it wasn't until her grandma was serious and said that she wants to pay off her bills so she could pay Bella's tuition for private school. This was decided because the intelligence that she possesses is something we are very proud of and wouldn't want to let go to waste. This made me start thinking about all of the things that I can do but am not. So tonight as soon as we got home, I applied to the local community college and started applying for student loans.
In my mind I am already thinking, there is no clock to beat. I have responsibilities and need to work and pay bills. But I would like to get my foot in the door and start doing something. So for now hopefully I can take general education online and go maybe twice a week and like on Saturdays to school. I just have to focus. This is something I want and know I can do. I am not saying that it will be easy, but I will try and dedicate myself to all these things.
So, here is my perfect scenerio. Wake up early. Coffee, cigarettes, and whatever reading is required. Work hopefully not much more than part time. Time with baby... even if just for an hour or so, but it will be her hour only. Then school, whether it be at home or having to attend a class. Do homework. Chris and I will have the last hours together. It sounds crazy and I am sure that it will be, but I would love to give it all that I have.

This cutie of mine...

She's the coolest. She does so much. She's so incredibly smart and too darn cute. My uncle frankie asks her about her"iced tea".... She responds"actually it's green tea".... What a cutie. As i started embroidering.... I played around with her name. She was so happy and proud. When i started a new one, she looked at the hoop and screams..."ugh! Where's my name?! Where's my name?! Put it back! Put IT back!! Where's my name? IsA-BELLA b-e-e-t! Where's my name?!" It was so hilarious! So while planning on doing one for my niece, she saw the orange I was working on (hers was green) she was so excited... "orange. yay! my name in orange." So I had to do it. The next day she looks at it and says " ccuuuute my name." UGH! This child has completed me in ways I couldn't have dreamt about. She makes me so happy and sssoooooo proud.

Embroidery

Nothing special.... But started experimenting with embroidery. This is for my niece. Had tons of fun. Really addicting. It has always been something I have wanted to do. One day I had decided I am going to give it a try. So far only worked with the backstitch. Can't wait to try more. I have done my daughter's name twice.