Why All the Anger?

Pics 408, originally uploaded by janellequinata.

I stumbled upon this blog on myspace. It's called God is imaginery. It makes me sad, but more than that, perplexed. What causes these people to be so angry and go out of their way to condemn what another person believes. Why, why are these people so passionate about hurting other people? I don't understand the purpose of sending out negativity? I believe in a lot of things that other people don't, vice versa. But is it even humane to attack other people, if one feels different than another, could it ever be just that? Why? And, to be honest, I know none of these people. (Maybe one, but that one is waaay out there). So, I wonder, could people be so angry when it comes to religion, but generally kind people and enjoyable to be around. Well, I do know one person, but this particular person wouldn't be an objective example seeing as how she enjoys being incredibly impossible to stomach. *Exhale*. Good Chi, good chi. I hope that even if it's not God or some faith that eases these people's anger, may they find the peace that they may be seeking.
I just wish that everyone could get along and be harmonious. But when will that day come? Will the day come when we love eachother and all want a united happiness? Will we ever stop attacking eachother for what they believe in, or what they wear, or their flaws, or their strengths? Will we ever overcome the blemishes of mankind?

An Unfortunate Reality

I'm not concerned with any scandal that may be involved in the tragic death of Heath Ledger. Whether it was his role as the Joker that caused him to overdose on pills, or if it was Mary-Kate's apartment, or whether they had a thing, or whether he had a drug problem. All I know is.... my Elvis died. I'm an adult with lots to worry about and a full normal life to live. But what happens to the boy crazy girliness that somehow at the age of 11 makes you think that one day you will grow up and marry this beautiful seemingly perfect man on screen. What about the giddiness of seeing their picture in a magazine or watching their movie over and over or hoping to catch them on late night shows or 3:00 programs like Ellen or Oprah or once upon a time Rosie? When you've grown up and forgotten all about those foolish dreams of marrying that long haired Aussie on that movie, do you handle his death like an adult? Was your admiration for them ever really mature and sensible? When I found out Heath Ledger died, I felt like I was that 12 year old girl writing "I *heart* Heath" on my school supplies. It was like someone taking those impossible dreams you had stored away to keep forever and telling you that they were never going to happen. With that mentality everything's blissful, but the tragedy of knowing that your one celebrity love is dead makes me want to lie in a bed and cry and tell my mom I don't want to eat dinner, because I'm too depressed; it's that silly sadneses It's such a far off land. But how should it feel when you are reminded of your childhood dreams because an unfortunate reality has shattered them?

Soulmates

Me and Kristina, originally uploaded by janellequinata.

Nothing brings me back like this girl.

Mo Money Mo Problems. No Money Mo Problems

There's something about struggle that brings the best out of people. Is it possibly because without working to attain something, it's limited in appreciation? I was talking with friends the other day, it was stated that the type of people that have lots of money saved are old people. Why? Is it because they make so much more money? Although that may play a part, I feel that it deals with the lifestyle and the ideology of money. It's not about making money to spend money. It's about making money and SAVING! It's about understanding what is necessary and what it takes to secure yourself. Maybe it deals in part with appreciation and hard work. You need to appreciate that which you have so you the desire to have more is lessened. You need to work hard so you can think twice about what you purchase and if it's worth those last tedious hours at the job. With this said, I hope to change my lifestyle and be more frugile, live in survival mode. I was going through this idea and pondering whether or not I really needed this Starbucks I was craving. Going back and forth, I decided to go for it. So, I pull away from possibly the worst Starbucks employee in the drive thru (like how fuckin hard is it to say 'have a nice day'"?) and am about to hop on the ugly 10 freeway when I take a sip of this much desired coffee, and it's fucking disgusting! Ugh! FOUR dollars. That was a big fat slap in the face... it's time to get cheap!

I don't want to be fat anymore.

It's so hard to say. I do love myself and do believe I am beautiful although I don't look ideal to most people. But I have decided to not be fat anymore. I feel different about it this time. Instead of thinking about my disclosures for when I don't succeed and say "I'm not trying to lose a certain amount, just be healthy." Well fuck that! I want a goal and I want to know what all this pain is for and focus in on the things I want. I want to be fit. I have never stuck to any diet or lost more than a few pounds. I know I can do it, so why not really try. I recently started doing a little yoga and it was incredible. I loved it from the first time I did it. I had never really worked out so it was something new and totally relaxing. Soon after I stopped doing my yoga I decided to give water and eating slower a good try. I started by having a glass of water before my meal and eating the meal slowly... 20 chews per bite to be exact. I was very pleased at the difference it made on my appetite. Thrilled at how I could have better control of my appetite, I went for my all time goal... DRINK MORE WATER! NEVER have I been a water drinker. Always a dark sugar-rich soda knid of gal. So there I was drinking 64 oz of water at least. I was really proud seeing as how it's always on my on New Years resolution to drink more water (and clean more often and efficiently...uh hm that'll be another day). I remember how wonderful it was when I actually drank soda and finally saw what others did when they said it's too sweet. My birthday, one week ago, Chris giot me the Wii fit. Here we are, no excuses, a wonderful investment and way to accomplish this goal. I am excited to do it. I am 22 years old. I am 5'2. I weigh 230 punds...but not for long.

Counting Those Blessings

This is the face she makes when I approve her request to watch The Holiday (I vetoed her stating in the den watching Life With Derek). Such a cutie. She's currently playing this game where she squeezes me so tight and says "I just loooo-ooove you!" and she keeps giving me long kisses on the cheek and saying "HAMBURGER SQUEEZE." Hamburger squueze is something Bella, Chris, and I do where she's the hamburger asnd we're the buns and on the count of three we squeeze tight and say "hamburger squeeze!" Talk about the best game EVER! I'm not sure what she likes about The Holiday but she loves that movie and asks to watch it quite often. Just a second ago she's like "Why are you getting far from me (trying pull me closer). Best night ever!

Of Great Things to Come

Each day I am filled with more pride than ever humanly allowed. This is a picture Bella colored. My sister drew the heart and my 2 year old colored it. I canot believe how talented she is. She picks up on everything and delivers with such sass and personality it's truly her own style. Aghhh I am so lucky.