A Photographer Maybe?

This girl makes me more proud than I thought up until each day is possible. This sassy and skinny child learns things and concepts so efficiently and applies each new piece of knowledge into each entertaining day. She's truly amazing. I let her use my camera once. Instead of scolding her for touching it, I showed her how to hold and take a picture. She loves taking pictures. Whether it's on my phone or with my actual camera, she is constantly taking pictures. She asked one day how to see what she took. I pointed to the play button for her to press. Now with each pic she takes she shows the person how their picture came out! Myy phone is a little different, but she had asked once and I showed her which button saves the picture she took. Now she handles it like a pro. Constantly she's impressing me with the things she learns and her tact in wowwing me is truly ingenious. I'm a quite proud and entertained mom indeed!

Best Birthday Yet!!!

DSCF1121, originally uploaded by janellequinata.

So sometimes there is all this chaos that takes place right before the parties I always plan to run so smoothly. The stress normally doesn't ease as the party begins and all the planning should come to an end and the fun should start. But this time it did surely did. This party was a lot smaller, although still about 40 in total. The food was easier, although you could choose hamburgers, hot dogs, or fried chicken. It didn't seem as hot throughout the party. I know Bella enjoyed herself. She played with the water and even did a little "Nobody's Perfect" in the beginning. She participated in the pinata and opened her gifts and said thank you in the mic. I actually got to take a lot of pics, entertain, and play. I even got wet! Well, literally soaked. And Bella told me yesterday that she had so much fun and thanked me! Of course the theme is Hannah Montana. Equipped with her fabulous music, decorations, pinata, cake, and party favors. Not to mention the gifts were pretty damn Hannah themselves.
There's no way possible that I would have been able to do this without so much help. Thanks to my parents and siblingsfor funding and preparing the food, drinks, and party equipment, but most of all the support and orgaznization to make this successful. Thanks Mia for the slip n slide and crazy ol noodle gun things that instigated so many water fights, oh and for her fabulous bathing suit. Thanks Nick for getting that thing for the hose and the oh so memorable pool. Thanks to Melanie for the ice, ADORABLE cupcakes, ice cream, and the never disappointing cake which is just too cute. Thanks Kat for helping me get this house together and for the drinks and definitely the Starbucks as well (needed that to start off a day like this one).
For every single person who came to celebrate my princess's birthday, it means so much. It's so wonderful to have people there who want to be a part of this and that it means something to them as this one means everything to me. Her gifts were absolutely fantastic. She loves each of them. She has already worn lots of the clothes and played with much of her toys and dec'd out her room with all of her gifts. We truly are grateful. Thanks so mcuh for attending and taking the time to get her a gift.

SOME OF MY FAVORITE HIGHLIGHTS!!!!!!
* Showin all those kids in the pool who was boss. If you attended, you know!
*Opening Bella's really cool presents that I can NOT wait for her to use.
*Singing Happy Birthday to Bella, although it's necessary, it's still very dear to me.
*Neeko breaking open the pinata and realizing that with kids, no matter how much they are told to stay back when candy falls from the pinata, they run just as fast.
*I enjoyed actually getting to play with the kids.
*I enjoyed the food. I always enjoy food.
* Later in the night the adults got on the slip n slide and in the pool. SOO fun.
*I actually enjoyed the party and didn't stress, just had fun.

Thank you all for everything. Bella, Hannah, Lily, or whatever you call yourself these days, Happy 3rd Birthday baby! You deserve the best!

Why All the Anger?

Pics 408, originally uploaded by janellequinata.

I stumbled upon this blog on myspace. It's called God is imaginery. It makes me sad, but more than that, perplexed. What causes these people to be so angry and go out of their way to condemn what another person believes. Why, why are these people so passionate about hurting other people? I don't understand the purpose of sending out negativity? I believe in a lot of things that other people don't, vice versa. But is it even humane to attack other people, if one feels different than another, could it ever be just that? Why? And, to be honest, I know none of these people. (Maybe one, but that one is waaay out there). So, I wonder, could people be so angry when it comes to religion, but generally kind people and enjoyable to be around. Well, I do know one person, but this particular person wouldn't be an objective example seeing as how she enjoys being incredibly impossible to stomach. *Exhale*. Good Chi, good chi. I hope that even if it's not God or some faith that eases these people's anger, may they find the peace that they may be seeking.
I just wish that everyone could get along and be harmonious. But when will that day come? Will the day come when we love eachother and all want a united happiness? Will we ever stop attacking eachother for what they believe in, or what they wear, or their flaws, or their strengths? Will we ever overcome the blemishes of mankind?

An Unfortunate Reality

I'm not concerned with any scandal that may be involved in the tragic death of Heath Ledger. Whether it was his role as the Joker that caused him to overdose on pills, or if it was Mary-Kate's apartment, or whether they had a thing, or whether he had a drug problem. All I know is.... my Elvis died. I'm an adult with lots to worry about and a full normal life to live. But what happens to the boy crazy girliness that somehow at the age of 11 makes you think that one day you will grow up and marry this beautiful seemingly perfect man on screen. What about the giddiness of seeing their picture in a magazine or watching their movie over and over or hoping to catch them on late night shows or 3:00 programs like Ellen or Oprah or once upon a time Rosie? When you've grown up and forgotten all about those foolish dreams of marrying that long haired Aussie on that movie, do you handle his death like an adult? Was your admiration for them ever really mature and sensible? When I found out Heath Ledger died, I felt like I was that 12 year old girl writing "I *heart* Heath" on my school supplies. It was like someone taking those impossible dreams you had stored away to keep forever and telling you that they were never going to happen. With that mentality everything's blissful, but the tragedy of knowing that your one celebrity love is dead makes me want to lie in a bed and cry and tell my mom I don't want to eat dinner, because I'm too depressed; it's that silly sadneses It's such a far off land. But how should it feel when you are reminded of your childhood dreams because an unfortunate reality has shattered them?

Soulmates

Me and Kristina, originally uploaded by janellequinata.

Nothing brings me back like this girl.

Mo Money Mo Problems. No Money Mo Problems

There's something about struggle that brings the best out of people. Is it possibly because without working to attain something, it's limited in appreciation? I was talking with friends the other day, it was stated that the type of people that have lots of money saved are old people. Why? Is it because they make so much more money? Although that may play a part, I feel that it deals with the lifestyle and the ideology of money. It's not about making money to spend money. It's about making money and SAVING! It's about understanding what is necessary and what it takes to secure yourself. Maybe it deals in part with appreciation and hard work. You need to appreciate that which you have so you the desire to have more is lessened. You need to work hard so you can think twice about what you purchase and if it's worth those last tedious hours at the job. With this said, I hope to change my lifestyle and be more frugile, live in survival mode. I was going through this idea and pondering whether or not I really needed this Starbucks I was craving. Going back and forth, I decided to go for it. So, I pull away from possibly the worst Starbucks employee in the drive thru (like how fuckin hard is it to say 'have a nice day'"?) and am about to hop on the ugly 10 freeway when I take a sip of this much desired coffee, and it's fucking disgusting! Ugh! FOUR dollars. That was a big fat slap in the face... it's time to get cheap!

I don't want to be fat anymore.

It's so hard to say. I do love myself and do believe I am beautiful although I don't look ideal to most people. But I have decided to not be fat anymore. I feel different about it this time. Instead of thinking about my disclosures for when I don't succeed and say "I'm not trying to lose a certain amount, just be healthy." Well fuck that! I want a goal and I want to know what all this pain is for and focus in on the things I want. I want to be fit. I have never stuck to any diet or lost more than a few pounds. I know I can do it, so why not really try. I recently started doing a little yoga and it was incredible. I loved it from the first time I did it. I had never really worked out so it was something new and totally relaxing. Soon after I stopped doing my yoga I decided to give water and eating slower a good try. I started by having a glass of water before my meal and eating the meal slowly... 20 chews per bite to be exact. I was very pleased at the difference it made on my appetite. Thrilled at how I could have better control of my appetite, I went for my all time goal... DRINK MORE WATER! NEVER have I been a water drinker. Always a dark sugar-rich soda knid of gal. So there I was drinking 64 oz of water at least. I was really proud seeing as how it's always on my on New Years resolution to drink more water (and clean more often and efficiently...uh hm that'll be another day). I remember how wonderful it was when I actually drank soda and finally saw what others did when they said it's too sweet. My birthday, one week ago, Chris giot me the Wii fit. Here we are, no excuses, a wonderful investment and way to accomplish this goal. I am excited to do it. I am 22 years old. I am 5'2. I weigh 230 punds...but not for long.

Counting Those Blessings

This is the face she makes when I approve her request to watch The Holiday (I vetoed her stating in the den watching Life With Derek). Such a cutie. She's currently playing this game where she squeezes me so tight and says "I just loooo-ooove you!" and she keeps giving me long kisses on the cheek and saying "HAMBURGER SQUEEZE." Hamburger squueze is something Bella, Chris, and I do where she's the hamburger asnd we're the buns and on the count of three we squeeze tight and say "hamburger squeeze!" Talk about the best game EVER! I'm not sure what she likes about The Holiday but she loves that movie and asks to watch it quite often. Just a second ago she's like "Why are you getting far from me (trying pull me closer). Best night ever!

Of Great Things to Come

Each day I am filled with more pride than ever humanly allowed. This is a picture Bella colored. My sister drew the heart and my 2 year old colored it. I canot believe how talented she is. She picks up on everything and delivers with such sass and personality it's truly her own style. Aghhh I am so lucky.

Another Blessed Day

Today started out rather well. I woke up and stayed up, as oppsosed to the normal snooze-cuddle in bed routine. I hopped in the shower and headed out to Starbucks for the coffee I so need in the morning. I was able to use a gift card which is so awesome. While waiting for my macchiato I sat next to what appeared to be a father and son just sitting down having a coffee and a pastry. It really made me happy to see them just talkingin the early morning. I could just imagine how wonderful it is to sit and social with your parent in the morning light. Watching those little bits of everyday gestures hits a spot in my heart for humanity. Happiness may really be that contagious.

A Tear to My Eye

We have a bedtime schedule. Sometimes we stray from it, but it's definitely our routine. It's bathtime after dinner. This is always followed by 2 books of reading (more recently one book of reading and her reading me each page from Mother Goose). After the two books I state that it's lights out time. She doesn't hesitate or resist. Then we lay in the bed and say our prayers. Prayers start with the sign of the cross. I say think about your day and thank God for all of the wonderful things that have happened guiding her to touch bases on family and people's kindness. We move into a very general "please bless all" and we pray for those with no family, food, place to live, people to love them, and the sick. Then I say I"ll do my prayers which is wen she turns around and cuddles me tight while I say the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. Sfter I say these we ask God to bless us, our family, and everyone through the night and pray for a wonderful day tomorrow. It ends with "In Jesus's name we pray. Amen." Tonight I said "Our Father....(she cont'd) who art in heaven.... and for the first half of the prayer she knew which lines followed what I lead with. There is this indescribable feeling that sinks in my entire core and I can't do anything, the pride and amazement paralyze me. She didn't enunciate the words, but that makes absolutely no difference, she knows her Our Father. There are may times when I feel like there is so much more I can do or she learns bad habits from me or she learns new cool things all over the place that leave everyone saying "aww... where'd you learn that". The fact that I stuck to our routine and said prayers with her every night, even if just that, has seen a wonderful result... I've taught my daughter the Our Father. I feel so satisfied and thankful. Thank you God.

The Change Ahead

So many times do I say how a change is needed and time management and balance. But I decided to be positive and set short term goals instead talking about all the mistakes I made. I was quite sad the other day when I had woken up at the time I was supposed to be clocking in for work. I hate that I need 8 hours of sleep after going to sleep at 2 a.m. I had done so well the last week with not being late to work that I was disappointed in my tardiness. But rather than beat myself up, remind myself each day that I know I can fall into the routine that I want and doing one thing right today will make such a big effect. So being game night tonight, things always run late. So here I am getting to bed and telling myself that although I love these little late night blogs, I hope the proceeding will be earlier. Hopefully no more late nights. To bed I am off and looking forward to tomorrow's day of a small stroke to a big picture. good night.

I am a happy person.

I'm not sure exactly what it is that makes each person happy, but i know for sure what i have works for me. Here I am, no pounds lighter, no earlier time in bad, and still BARELY making it check to check. But although these are things I wish to change, I am so incredibly grateful for the wonderful things that have remained constant in my life. I still have the unyielding support and enthusiasm from those closest to me. They remind me of the beauty that still exists today althoug it's hard to find. Today while going over money issues with Chris he reassured me that everything is gonna be okay. In those moments when I fail to see the positive, those who care are there to push me through and remind me of the greatness ahead. On a different note, today I was so out of it and left to work without my wallet. There I was at ampm desperately needing gas and having no money for it. I caled my dad and asked him to come 30 min away to help me. No hesitation and not too much apparent disappointment, a short while later there he and my mom were. I am so lucky to be able to, although I shouldn't, make mistakes and have such a strong support system to bail me out when I need. Thank you all.

We'll See What Happens

This is the Crestmore Manor in Riverside. So happy I stumbled upon it on a website. I really wanna get married. Every bride has an idea of what they want their magic day to look like. I know how I want it to look based off how I want it to feel. This place feels just like I imagined. I mean to a tee. I can't explain the disappointment of not havig the 500 dollars to hold the only date. Man this is so hard. And to be honest I don't think we'll have the money again for a while. Not at least a month from when I looked at it. I can't wait to start planning. Without a reception site, I can't really do any tangible planning. Hmm we'll see what happens. *Fingers crossed*

The Expected Randomness

the prodigal son

Wow Ryan I can't believe how litle we see eachother now compared to how I knew every second of your day. I'm glad to see that you have some consistency in your life now. You spent the night last night, and in true me and fashion, this morning hadn't skipped a beat. There I was waking up at 7 a.m. to you awake on the recliner about to go sleep. You said you would smoke a cigarette with me; of course asked you to wait while I make coffee. There we were, me waking up and you about to sleep. I miss you. Good to see you.

Comfortable with me

I don't know when it started, but I'm glad it did. Somewhere I found the ability to love myself. Not that I always had self-esteem issues but I feel confident and satisfied with myself and my decisions in life. I look around and feel blessed. To have love, laughter, and companionship makes all the bad things in life seem to dwindle. When I look in myself in the mirror, I am happy. May everyone everyone I know be able to find the same joy within themselves.

DISNEYLAND

bella and i waiting in line for autopia

oh so happy

There are so many things tha you do to make me happy. I can't count them, so I'll give a prime example. I worked today; when I came home, the house was clean (even Bella's room). You told me about all the fun you guys had together and all the things you did. I was pleasantly surprised by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs cd you bought because you knew I was obsessed with the song. Our bed was made, something I love but you don't quite get. And you bought us Cadbury eggs that we have to wait to eat after dinner because you made a deal with Bella. Oh how I love you and appreciate everything you do. This is perfect!

Morning Person

Recently I realized that I am such a morning person. Parts of me still have nightowl tendencies, but nothing does it for me like mornings. This was taken in my backyard while enjoying my morning coffee and Kool... such a dirty habit. I like waking up when it's cold and the house being quiet. It's nice to open the windows and take this time to do nothing but relax and really take in the morning. My favorite time to wake up if I can is about 5:45. It's still kinda dark but very much refreshing. I must be old.

Rock Band. I Think I Need Rehab.

Such a horrible addiction. I love it! So I am Riley the lead singer of Case of the Mondays. It was such a splurge but totally worth it. Chris and I rock out together. We play so much it may be sad to some, but we're so hooked.